WTF Wednesday is on Hiatus Today…
Instead I give you a link to a blog from Gizmodo on why you should buy an iPhone for sex!
The juicy parts…
Filed under: Featured, WTF Wednesdays
Call it a FaceDate. Or FaceTime sex. But don’t get too cute with the nicknames-”FaTi Sex?” Not much of a turn-on.
Gather your things.
Before you begin, get everything out that you might need (vibrator, lube, an old gym sock) so you don’t have to move out of the frame later on.
The phone, silly! Use any standard iPhone dock that lets your phone stand, ahem, erect. Placing it on your lap could get in the way of touching or showing off the star attraction. Prop it against your nightstand or alarm clock, and you might accidentally knock it off and shatter it. And forget holding the thing; you’re gonna want to use both of your hands-unless, of course, you’re simply playing voyeur.
Light it up.
You’ll need a decent source of illumination if you’re FaceTiming in the dark. Candles will do, as will a bright hallway light and an open door. Otherwise just go with regular room lighting. Just don’t open the curtains for—you don’t want to be “that guy,” and passersby don’t want in on the action either. This isn’t a square dance.
If you live alone or have adequate privacy, you probably don’t need any accessories. But if you have housemates, children, or thin walls, consider using a pair of headphones or a handsfree. Neither your partner nor your neighbors want those sounds to be broadcast. Another option is to skip the geeky headgear and turn on some mood music.
Don’t touch that dial.
FaceTime sex is a totally different monster from the real-life randiness, phone love, and computer copulation. Sure, IM alerts and email dings won’t bust in and interrupt you like they can when you’re on your laptop. But incoming calls can interrupt or temporarily freeze your screen. Know what you’re going into and brace yourself against call waiting and forget about taking calls — that’s a mood killer during any type of sex.
This is FaceTime sex and that’s it—well, unless you’re both watching porn at the same time, which is totally fun. Just don’t start checking email or Facebook or replay Frucci’s fleshlight video.
Consider multiple perspectives.
Try this: Fire up the FT while simultaneously keeping your laptops linked in a passionate video embrace. In addition to the handset’s frontside view, you could a rearview cam or a revealing profile. You could see more than one body part at a time, or close-ups complimented with full-body shots. Consider it your own private porn shoot.
FaceTime sex, like in-the-flesh sex, should be fun. Make it whatever you want it to be. Dress up, play, laugh, say sexy things. Get close to your phones and look into each other’s eyes. Get ultra close so you have the fish eye effect and laugh about it. Put your genitals close to the phone and be silly (or awesome). FaceTime sex is whatever you make of it. So make it good.