The Adventures of the Asian Han Solo
Mass Effect is a sci-fi role-playing game, developed by BioWare, where players create their own persona of the game’s main protagonist, Captain Shepard. Since I am of Asian descent, this is the story of my character, Captain Raphael Shepard, who I have deemed through his swift kicking good looks, 1998-esque boy band charm and daring escapades….as the Asian Han Solo.
Shepard’s log 02/08:
Man, it must be nice to be in Nawleans this week; the fesitivities, the liquor, the beads covering the teets of several, low self-esteemed…
Oh, sorry…do you say it at “Nawlins”? “Nowleens”? “Neyolins”? Anyways…you get my drift…
But alas, as much as I want to fight for my right to party, I, Commander Raphael Shepard, must fight another battle to save our galaxy. As I buckle up and check my crotch cup to prepare for launch, I will leave Earth…with this:
PS: Well you can ignore the wife part, cause there are still no shackles on these limbs...oh yeah, the ol’ ball and chain is far from happening.
PPS: Mmmm…that Miranda Lawson. She’s a damn fine slice…of that cutie pie.